


Black Sheep

by wongsdong69



Category: Kpop - Fandom, NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: Emotional Abuse, M/M, Self Harm, Triggers, graphic description of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22651489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wongsdong69/pseuds/wongsdong69
Summary: Huang Renjun is known for his long list of exes. He just doesn't want to be alone. He thinks he'll be stuck with his abusive ex forever until he meets Lee Jeno.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 25
Kudos: 129





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this is a vent piece i wrote that explicitly talks about rape and emotional abuse. if you're uncomfortable with reading this kind of content, please do not read. this first chapter describes rape and throughout the rest of the story there are various mentions of it. read at your own risk.

Slut. It was a word Renjun heard a lot. Did he think he was a slut? He only thought of himself as a slut when he was upset and blamed himself for all of his problems, but others seemed to like calling him a slut. Girls at parties, guys in bed, sometimes even his mother all the way in China. 

He didn't care anymore, it didn't affect him as much as it used to. He figured people called him the word for the long list of boyfriends he had. He could never keep one for more than a month at most and at this point, it became a distraction from the constant loneliness he felt.

Something about him always made them leave, even if he had really loved them. So he changed. He no longer put his all into the relationships, letting them do what they wanted with him until they got sick of him. It hurt less to not care. At this point, he didn’t even go out to find dates, opting to keep to himself in his small apartment.

The worst that happened was the time in between relationships. It was so lonely and he didn’t have any friends to talk to about it. Besides Jaemin. And he didn't know if he considered his first ex his friend.

His phone vibrated insistently. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, squinting to read the blocky numbers on his alarm clock. Who was calling at two in the morning? Dumb question. He picked up his phone and sighed seeing the caller ID. 'Nana ♡' He hadn't changed it since they broke up.

He answered, bringing the phone to his ear. Loud dubstep blasted through the speaker and he cringed at the volume. "Jun," His deep voice slurred, signifying that he was drunk. "Mm, baby I need you right now." It felt hard for Renjun to breathe. He couldn't bring himself to speak, much to the annoyance of the drunk man.

"Renjun, I'm coming over." Renjun felt wide awake now, his heart beating against his chest. "Jaemin, I have to work tomorrow.” He mumbled. "Excuse me?" The dubstep faded. "Like I said, I'm coming over. I don't care if you're tired." Renjun didn't realize he was crying until he felt the tears collecting at his chin.

"Okay." He affirmed and the other line went silent as he hung up. He got out of bed, making it and tidying up his room. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to look presentable when his figure sagged. Why was he doing this for Jaemin? He didn't even want Jaemin to come over.

'But he said he loved you, Renjun. He's the only one who still sticks around.' He told himself. Maybe he could use a distraction. There was a loud banging against the front door and he answered it with a sweet smile.

"Hi, Jaemin" Jaemin gave him an uninterested look before pushing him down the hallway against the bathroom door. He molded his lips against the smaller boy's in a rough kiss and shoved his knee against his crotch. 

"Did my pretty little doll forget who he’s talking to?" He leaned his forehead against Renjun's, who was panting and squirming against him, arms reaching down to unbutton Jaemin's jeans. Jaemin grabbed both of his wrists with one hand and held them high over his head, fingernails digging into the soft skin. Renjun cried out in pain and thrashed against his hold.

“Jaemin, stop!” Jaemin pushed his knee harder against Renjun’s crotch and slapped the man’s face. “Shut the fuck up you whiny bitch. Be a good boy and say my name.” Tears rolled down Renjun’s cheeks and he stilled, calming himself and taking big, shaky breaths. 

“Sorry, Nana.” Jaemin smirked and stepped away from him, keeping one wrist in his grasp. He pulled Renjun into his bedroom and pushed him harshly, the older landing bent over the foot of the bed. Jaemin tugged Renjun’s pj bottoms down along with his boxers, dropping them onto the floor. He ran a hand over his bare ass and Renjun felt shame in being so exposed to Jaemin. 

“Nana.” He spoke softly. Jaemin pulled his hand away. “What do you want?” Renjun brought his legs together anxiously. “I don’t want to do this tonight. Can we just go to bed?” Jaemin scoffed. “Suck it up. You’d be real fucking stupid to think that I’d come all the way here just to cuddle.” 

Renjun’s stomach dropped. He flipped around and crawled backwards up to the headboard to get away from Jaemin. “Renjun.” Jaemin warned, “Come here.” Renjun shook his head. 

“Jaemin, no.” Jaemin rolled his neck, an audible crack sounding throughout the room. He held his hand up, “Five.” One finger down. “Four.” Two fingers. Renjun scrambled out of the room and Jaemin chased after him. Renjun found himself cornered in the small kitchen and he curled up on the floor, becoming a sobbing, shaking mess.

Jaemin loomed over him with a less than amused expression. “Boo hoo, you think someone’s gonna hear your crying and come save you?” Renjun didn’t answer and Jaemin kicked his side. 

“Damn, you’re so pathetic, you know that? Now get up. You pissed me off and I’m not gonna ask again.” Renjun slowly pulled himself off the floor gripping his side. Jaemin moved him to press his stomach against the counter, leaning over it. 

Renjun heard the metal clinking of Jaemin’s belt and panicked. “Jaemin- Um, Nana I need to prep myself still.” Jaemin ignored him, swiftly dropping his pants and pushing the tip of his dick into Renjun. Renjun gripped onto the edge of the counter, his knuckles turning white. Jaemin snapped his hips against Renjun’s at a rapid pace, his loud moans nearly drowning out Renjun’s sobs.

Jaemin grabbed a fistfull of Renjun’s hair, pulling him backwards uncomfortably. “Shut up, you worthless whore. You’re ruining the mood.” Renjun felt so helpless. The lower half of his body felt like it was on fire and Jaemin showed no signs of stopping. He couldn’t do anything but wait for it to be over. Similar situations had happened before, but not to this extent. Jaemin would always calmly convince him to have sex with him but he never forced him.

Renjun dropped his head on the counter and closed his eyes, pretending he was in bed sleeping. It almost worked. After a few minutes, he felt Jaemin cum inside of him and pull out. Renjun slumped against the counter and he felt like crying again. His ass burned and he felt like he might fall over if he tried to stand. 

Jaemin picked him up, an arm under his knees and one holding his back up. Renjun didn’t look at Jaemin who kissed his cheek and carried him back to his room. He was set on the bed and Jaemin tucked him under the comforter before sliding into bed next to him. The younger wrapped his arms around the other and pressed numerous kisses to his nape. 

Renjun squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to sleep.

Much to Renjun’s disappointment, Jaemin was lightly snoring next to him when he woke up. He winced as he sat up, but got out of bed anyway. He took a cold shower, to wake himself up and to punish himself for being so foolish. He should’ve ignored Jaemin’s phone call, he shouldn’t have let him in, he should’ve fought back. He opened the sink drawer, pulling out a tylenol bottle. He opened it, dropping a capsule into his mouth and swallowing.

He finished his morning routine and quietly packed a lunch for work, trying to avoid Jaemin. He turned around to see said man standing in the doorway with a sleepy smile gracing his face. “Leaving so soon?” Renjun frowned, grabbing the tupperware container off the counter and stuffing it into his backpack. He mumbled, “I have to work. You should get going too.” He walked past Jaemin, but the taller boy put an arm in front of him to stop him.

“Can I have a kiss goodbye?” Renjun stared at him blankly for a few seconds before finally leaning up to kiss his cheek. He shuddered as he walked out of his apartment. The bus ride to work was dull, besides his ex, Yangyang, was riding today. Renjun fumbled for his headphones, putting them in before the man took notice of him. 

His work day was just as dull. He worked in retail which probably didn’t help his mental state, and he felt the urgent need to cry after dealing with an extra angry customer. He was elated once he made it home. His phone made a quiet ‘ping’ sound and he was relieved to see that it wasn’t Jaemin.

It was Donghyuck. Renjun’s first boyfriend. They dated for a short period of time, breaking up after they realized they were better as friends. Hyuck still texted from time to time to check up on the older, but they didn’t see much of each other anymore. 

‘I’m having a get together at my place and I thought it’d be nice to see you there. Plus free drinks ;)’ with an address attachment. Renjun bit his lip, pondering if he should go. Maybe, it was an opportunity to reconnect with Donghyuck and/or make (boy)friends. But if that didn’t work out he could still have a few drinks.

It also meant that he’d have an excuse to avoid Jaemin. He made up his mind and got dressed. The bus ride to Hyuck’s neighborhood was a short one and his house was easy to find considering the amount of cars parked in front of it. 

He knocked on the door and a dark haired man with high cheekbones answered. “Hello?” He asked. And Renjun started to regret coming. “Ah I’m-” A lighter haired man popped his head over the other man’s shoulder. Renjun was relieved and he relaxed his body. It was Donghyuck. “Oh Renjun! I honestly wasn’t expecting you, what a pleasant surprise!” He pushed past the first man and engulfed Renjun in a long hug.

“Renjun, this is Mark, my fiance.” He gestured to the dark haired man who waved apologetically and Donghyuck continued, “Mark, this is Renjun. We were besties in high school.” They smiled politely at each other and Mark excused himself to check on the ‘hors d’oeuvres’. Donghyuck guided Renjun inside, showing him where the drinks and snacks were. 

They spoke for a short while until Donghyuck said something about having to make sure Mark didn’t break anything, leaving Renjun by himself. He felt the painkillers start to wear off so he decided to get a drink to try and alleviate his discomfort.

He sat by himself at the dining room table, bringing a bottle of beer with him. He wasn’t fond of it, but he felt too uncomfortable to pour himself a drink from any of the expensive looking bottles of liquor. 

He looked at his phone, swiping away text notifications from Jaemin when someone spoke to him. He cast his gaze to the stranger, he was tall, with black hair and a sweet smile. ‘Anyone sitting here?” He asked in a joking tone. Renjun shook his head, a small amused smile taking over his face.

Jeno’s chest warmed seeing Renjun smile. He had seen him talking to Donghyuck earlier and he thought he looked beautiful. But there was a sadness in his eyes that drew him in, he wanted to chase it away and see the man smiling. He internally laughed at himself for crushing on someone he had never spoken to before so he decided to change that.

“I don’t believe anyone was sitting there. And if they were, sucks for them.” Renjun said and Jeno’s smile grew. Renjun felt his stomach twist pleasantly, somehow. They talked for a bit about their lives. 

Apparently Jeno ran a small pet hotel and Renjun thought of how much the man looked like a big puppy when he smiled. After a few hours of talking, Renjun noticed people slowly disappearing and he checked his phone. 

“Damn, it’s late.” He mumbled and Jeno gasped as he did the same. “Yeah I should probably get going.” They both stood up, and walked towards the front door and Renjun tried his best to not limp. He suddenly smacked his hand against his forehead and groaned. “Shit, when do the buses stop?” 

Jeno frowned. “An hour ago. Do you need a ride? I can drive you home!” Renjun sent a guilty smile his way. “That would actually be really nice, thank you.” Jeno grinned and led him to his car opening and closing the passenger door for him.

Jeno got in and started the engine. “Actually, I’ll only drive you home if you do me a favor.” Renjun tensed, Jeno didn’t seem like the malicious type. He hoped. “Oh, what’s that?” Jeno laughed lightly. “Ah, it’s nothing bad, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just gonna ask for your number.” Renjun relaxed and took Jeno’s phone from him, typing in his number. He gave him his address and they drove in comfortable silence.

They said their goodbyes and Jeno watched as Renjun walked up the walkway. He smiled fondly when Renjun turned to wave before disappearing into the apartment building. He concluded that his crush on Renjun still stood, after actually talking to him.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, he met up with Donghyuck at a coffee shop. "Well, you look very bubbly today. I didn't realize my party was that fun." Jeno scoffed playfully and shook his head. "No offense, but it was shit. Ten out of ten for trying though." 

Hyuck slapped his arm and rested his face in his hands. "Whatever. Why're you so smiley then? It's kinda gross." Jeno rolled his eyes. "I met someone." Donghyuck perked up, taking a long sip of his latte. 

"Who is it? Oh, let me guess! Jisung?" Jeno grimaced, "No, he's too young for me. His name's Renjun." Donghyuck's eyebrows quirked, he looked confused. 

"Oh, really?" Jeno bit his lip. "What, does he have a boyfriend or something?" He asked. Hyuck looked down at the mug in his hands. "No, he just keeps to himself so much these days. And he’s a bit of a player."

Jeno guffawed. "Renjun? Really?" He laughed at the thought. Hyuck gave him a pointed look, "Maybe not a player, but he goes through a lot of boyfriends. Like, a lot." Jeno slouched. "He seemed really sweet though. I just can't see it." 

Donghyuck huffed and pulled his phone off the table. He opened Renjun's empty instagram account and went through the tagged pictures, showing Jeno a vast array of cutesy couple pictures. They all had one thing in common, Renjun.

Jeno cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from the screen. "That's odd. I'd still like to be friends with him, at the very least. He seems lonely." Donghyuck smiled and nodded. "He could use a friend like you." 

They chatted about work and Hyuck’s wedding planning for a bit until Donghyuck hurriedly left. Jeno sighed as he got in his car. He couldn't shake the man out of his head. 

It was Renjun's day off and he decided to stay home and have a spa day. He put on a gel mask and filled the bath tub with warm, soapy water. He let out a content sigh and slipped in, the heat soothing his sore muscles.

His phone vibrated on the counter and he groaned, reaching up to grab it. He was surprised to see the text wasn't from Jaemin but from… An unknown number?

'Hi Renjun, how are you? I enjoyed talking and I was wondering if you had any plans for dinner tonight? :)' Was it Jeno? He quickly typed back, hopeful that it was him.

'Oh ahaha, just making sure, this is Jeno, right?' Send. 'Oh yeah, it's Jeno lol' Renjun cursed himself, of course it was Jeno, who else would it be? He sounded so stupid.

'Yeah, I'm not busy or anything. Where did you wanna go?' He rolled his neck and immediately shuddered, the picture of Jaemin doing the same popping into his head. He could practically feel his hot, heavy breath hitting his back. 

He clambered out of the tub, rushing to dry off and get dressed. He leaned over the sink, pulling at his hair and trying to calm himself.

His phone buzzed and he warily grabbed it. 'I can come pick you up if that's okay?'  
'Do you mind?'   
'Renjun?' 

Renjun took a deep breath and texted back. 'Sorry, was getting out of the bath haha. That sounds nice, just let me know when to be ready :<' 

Jeno smiled at the emoticon. "Ah, he's so cute." His roommate rested his chin on Jeno's shoulder. "Ooh, did you finally get a boyfriend?" Jeno snorted. "No it's just some guy I met." 

"What's his name? What does he look like?" Jeno pushed him away. "None of your business, Jaemin." 

Jaemin pouted, "Fine, then don't get mad when I won't tell you where I've been all night." Jeno scowled at him. "Those are two very different things! I just want to make sure you're not getting into any trouble." Jaemin grinned and pinched Jeno's cheeks.

"Aw, you do care about me!" Jeno pulled away from the blonde boy with a huff. Jaemin put his hands on his hips. "If you must know, I stayed over at my boyfriend's." Jeno raised an eyebrow. "You have a boyfriend?" 

Jaemin playfully shoved him. "He’s basically my boyfriend. Geez, you never listen to me anymore, huh?" Jeno rolled his eyes, turning on the tv. "I swear I haven't heard you talking about a boyfriend since like, a year ago." Jaemin smiled cheekily and flopped onto the couch next to him. "I guess I'm just not into flaunting off my relationships."

Renjun took his time getting ready. He didn't know if it was a date, but he wanted to look pretty for Jeno anyways. Another excuse to ignore Jaemin. He felt a bit anxious, not knowing if he should dress casually or dressy. 

He figured he would just throw on his nicest jeans and a dress shirt. He put on some makeup and imagined himself on his back, tears dissolving his eyeliner as Jeno pounded into him. 

He blushed and chided himself, holding a cold hand to his cheek and walking out of the bathroom. His phone 'pinged' and he happily skipped outside to see Jeno's car. He waved and walked to the car. 

"Hey." Jeno smiled as Renjun shut the door and buckled himself in. "Hi." He suddenly felt shy, realizing this was only the second time he'd talked to Jeno. He was relieved, seeing that Jeno was dressed nicer. 

"How was your day?" The way Jeno spoke made it seem as if they had been friends for years. It calmed Renjun and he felt himself slowly relaxing. "It was okay. A little too quiet for my liking. Yours?" 

"Ah, I had coffee with Donghyuck this morning. Do you have a roommate?" Renjun smiled, his last boyfriend never seemed interested in his life, always dragging him to watch him play basketball and other various sports. 

It made him feel like a trophy boyfriend and he didn't particularly enjoy it. The tasty home cooking and company (mostly sex) was the only thing that made him keep quiet.

"Ah, I live by myself." Jeno nodded, eyes staying on the road. "That must be nice." Renjun chuckled at his response and tilted his head. "Oh? I'm assuming you have a roommate?" Jeno laughed, glancing at Renjun. "Yeah. He's a bit… Excitable though." 

He pulled into a packed parking lot, getting out and running around the front to open Renjun's door. Renjun laughed lightly and Jeno felt his face flush. "You don't have to open the door for me every time, you know. I do have hands." 

"Damn, can I not be a gentleman?" Jeno feigned offense and held his arm out, prompting Renjun to hook his own around it. Renjun gave him a toothy smile and linked their arms.

Renjun gasped at the interior of the building. The decor was all modern and the dim lighting set a calm, intimate mood. Every diner seemed to be dressed up and the bottles of wine on display reeked of money. 

"Jeno, this is too much." The 'fanciest' place he had been before this was maybe an olive garden. Jeno guided him to a small table. "Pfft, who said I'm paying?" Renjun's eyes widened in panic and Jeno held his hands up. 

"Sorry, sorry! I was joking." Renjun exhaled heavily and gave the other a pointed look. "You have got to stop scaring me like that." Jeno laughed heartily.

was so genuine. His smile, the way he talked to Renjun, it was so different than his past boyfriends. Not only was Jeno attractive, but he was funny and extremely kind. 

He wondered what Jeno thought of him. Did he like him? Why would he want to have dinner with him, much less an expensive one? He ultimately decided to ask. Jeno took a sip from his glass, looking out the window as he thought of an answer.

"Like I said, I really liked- well I like talking to you. Plus, I'm very careful with my budgeting for times like these. It feels nice to treat friends." 

"Friends?" Renjun wondered aloud. He darted his eyes away from Jeno in embarrassment, looking down at his hands. 

"I consider you my friend. Even though this is only the second time we've seen each other." He laughed at how ridiculous it sounded and Renjun joined in. 

"I mean, I don't have many friends, aside from Donghyuck, Mark, and Jaemin…" Renjun could hear Jeno still talking, but his words sounded foggy and far off. He couldn't make out what he was saying. 

Jaemin's heavy breathing drowned out the noisy restaurant, mocking him in a way. He was shaken out of his daze when Jeno laid his hand on top of Renjun's, the short man trembling in his seat. 

"Oh my god, Renjun are you okay?" Renjun looked terrified and Jeno felt bad. Maybe he had been too straightforward? Renjun smiled meekly and looked as if he was relaxing. "I'm okay, lately I've been having these strange moments where I have flashbacks and…" He couldn't explain it without going into explicit detail.

"I'm sorry. It's just kind of personal. I'm alright though, thank you." Jeno still looked concerned and he nodded. "I hope you'll be able to tell me someday." Soon after, they left the restaurant and Renjun felt nauseous on the car ride home. He hoped Jeno’s roommate wasn’t the same Jaemin he knew. 

The two made small conversation and Jeno could feel the anxious aura radiating off of the chestnut haired man. He stopped in front of Renjun’s apartment building and gave him a long, hard look. “You seem really stressed. Can I help in any way?” Renjun flushed and looked away, his mind filling with dirty thoughts. He cursed himself and pushed them away.

Renjun’s shoulders slumped and he shyly looked at Jeno. “Do you have time? Like, we can watch a movie or something if you want.” He internally cringed at how stupid he sounded and he bit his lip harshly. Jeno nodded, feeling sorry for Renjun. He seemed quite unstable, and if he was given the opportunity to help, he’d take it.

So when a voice in his head told him that he needed to be up early for work the next day, he ignored it, promptly following Renjun into his apartment. He looked around, noticing how bare the space looked. He seemed to not have a lot of belongings, just some basic furniture. Renjun showed him to the living room area and handed him the remote, quickly excusing himself to the bathroom.

Jeno flicked through movies on netflix, deciding on a cheesy romance he’d watched hundreds of times. He paused it before it started and he heard his phone vibrate. He grabbed it, wondering who would be texting him. Maybe an employee? The screen read ‘Nana’ and he opened the messages without thinking twice. “Why’s Jaemin texting so much?” 

‘babie don’t ignore me like this’  
‘did you drop your phone in the bath?’  
‘ohh my little doll must be mad at me still’  
‘i mean, i was drunk, can you blame me?’  
‘i was nice the next morning!!’  
‘i think you enjoyed it tho ;))  
‘already waiting for next time.’  
‘Maybe next time can b tonight?’  
‘omw’

His eyes widened with each text and he panicked, quickly realizing this was not his phone. He wracked his brain for answers. It was the same way Jaemin typed and he had heard the younger refer to himself as ‘Nana’ before. It made sense with his last name being Na. Was Renjun dating his roommate? And what did the texts mean about Jaemin being drunk?

His thoughts were interrupted by Renjun clearing his throat. Jeno jumped and he melted at the devilish smile that graced Renjun’s lips. “Did I scare you?” Jeno laughed and nodded, noticing that Renjun had changed into a baggy t-shirt and sleep pants. The shorter gestured to him.

“Do you want some more comfy clothes?” Jeno quirked an eyebrow up. “Did you want me to stay the night or something?” Renjun panicked and rubbed his arm nervously. “Ah, I didn’t mean it like that, you can just change back once you leave.” 

Jeno nodded, feeling a tad bit disappointed. Renjun continued, “I mean, unless you want to stay? I’d be fine with that too.”

Jeno smiled, getting excited at the thought of spending more time with him. “Oh, but would your boyfriend be okay with that? I know some people can be insecu-” Renjun cut him off, looking bewildered. “My what?” Jeno gestured to the phone on the coffee table with a guilty frown. 

“I thought it was mine, and I saw the texts… I’m sorry.” Renjun snatched the phone off the table, scrolling through the texts hurriedly. His breath hitched and he powered the phone off. “He’s not my boyfriend. We dated before, but we’re not…” Jeno felt bad for saying anything about it.

“I didn’t mean to pry, I’m sorry.” Renjun smiled sadly at him while he fumbled for words. “Do you still want me to stay?” 

Renjun quickly changed his demeanor, vigorously nodding his head. “Please! Let me get you some clothes.” He disappeared down the hallway digging through his closet to find some sweatpants and a hoodie. Jeno Jeno Jeno. He really liked Jeno. He felt like he could trust him.

Renjun froze. He was having a sleepover with a man he’d only met yesterday. He didn’t feel annoyed or upset with himself, just… Very giddy. He pushed any doubts away. Jeno was different from others. 

He gave the clothes to Jeno, showing him to the bathroom and bounding to the kitchen to make popcorn. He felt his stomach twist in dread just from being in the room but he pretended to ignore it anyways. ‘Great, I can’t even feel comfortable in my own house.’ He thought to himself. He shuddered and quickly left the room, carrying a small mix of candies and snacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was interesting for me to write about this because I had to think about all the habits and tendencies I formed after I was r*ped. For example, Renjun shudders a LOT in the story which is something I still do. He also has intrusive sexual thoughts about Jeno which is something I used to have a problem with. omg not at how I wrote a whole rape scene but then bleep out r*pe im sorry im sorry kgdusj


	3. Chapter 3

Jeno was still in the bathroom and there was a knock on the door. Maybe it was the landlord? The elderly woman often came by to make sure the apartment was clean and still intact. He swung open the door with a soft smile. He was met by a blonde boy giving him puppy eyes and pouting at him. Ugh.

“Renjunnie, why do you keep ignoring me? He walked past Renjun into the apartment, taking note of the extra pair of shoes by the door. “Oh does kitten have someone over? Having fun without me?” He purred, backing Renjun up against the front door. He couldn’t move or bring himself to speak, he felt frozen. 

The bathroom door opened and Jeno walked out, in the baggy outfit Renjun had given him. (It was one of Renjun’s exes’. He was really tall.) Renjun wanted to drag Jaemin out of the apartment so that Jeno wouldn’t see him, but all he could do was stare at the two.

“Jeno? What the hell are you doing here?” Jeno’s eyes widened upon seeing his roommate. “Uh, I’m hanging out with Renjun…? What are you doing here?”

Jaemin put on an exaggerated pout. “Renjunnie keeps ignoring me when I ask to meet up so I thought I’d come over and make him spend time with me.” He threw his arms around the older, who was visibly getting paler by the second. "You guys know each other?"

Jaemin nodded brightly. "Jeno's my roommate! I'm surprised you two know each other."

Jeno spoke softly, “Renjun why don’t you come sit down, you don’t look well.” Renjun pulled away from Jaemin, hurrying to sit on the couch. He didn’t dare look at Jaemin and Jeno noticed his tense state.

“Uh. We were just gonna watch some movies. You can join if you want?” Renjun shot him a look of surprise and Jeno felt a pang in his heart. The situation was extremely awkward but it felt wrong to kick Jaemin out. 

Maybe Renjun just didn’t like all of the affection? But the way he acted around Jaemin rubbed him the wrong way. He seemed almost scared of the younger man. Jaemin attempted to sit on the middle of the couch but the chestnut haired boy was quick to scooch to the spot and Jaemin was forced to sit to the left of him. Jeno sat on his right and played the movie. 

Renjun moved closer to Jeno throughout the opening scene, and Jeno felt him slowly relaxing. It wasn’t long before Jaemin noticed and he reached his hand to rest on the small man’s thigh, making him flinch at the contact. Renjun glued his eyes to the screen and forced himself to calm down.

He felt Jaemin's hand creep up his thigh and he jolted when the blonde boy squeezed harshly making Renjun yelp. Jeno eyed him curiously and he blushed in embarrassment, standing and excusing himself to the bathroom.

He splashed cold water on his face and took a shaky breath. “Don’t give him a reaction, Renjun. It’s what he wants.” He nodded firmly at his reflection in the mirror and left to join Jeno and Jaemin again. He kept telling himself to ignore Jaemin, and it worked. Although the younger man made it his goal to be extra touchy, Renjun stayed quiet and composed.

Eventually, he had fallen asleep on Jeno but when he woke up, he was in his bed with Jaemin. Jaemin’s arms were wrapped around his waist and he felt the blonde man pressing kisses along his collarbone. He groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” Jaemin leaned back to look at the clock. “Hm, the clock says eight-thirty but I say it’s loving Renjun hours. He started kissing up the smaller man’s neck, planting big, wet kisses on his cheeks. 

He laughed lightly and stared up at Jaemin. Jaemin winked and snickered. “Enjoying the view?” Renjun scoffed and shook his head. “No. You just look really cute right now.” Jaemin beamed brightly and leaned down to kiss Renjun who willingly kissed back. 

“Nana, where’s Jeno? Is he still here?” Jaemin shook his head and kissed Renjun’s nose. “He left early for work.” The blonde pulled back with a suddenly serious expression.

“Baby, why have you been ignoring me?” Renjun felt guilt prick at him with the sudden subject change and he looked away. Jaemin grabbed his chin gently and made the man under him face him.

Renjun frowned.”I was- I am still upset from what happened the other day. It made me want to stay away from you and I don’t know if I can even trust you again. And the way you were acting last night scared me too. It reminded me of what you did.”

Jaemin sighed, sitting back on his haunches and running his fingers through his hair. “I’m really sorry, Renjun. I didn’t even think about how that must’ve affected you. I just… I couldn’t help it. Look at you! You’re so pretty.” Sirens went off in Renjun’s head, what he just said was so wrong and yet, he felt his chest warm.

Jaemin slid down Renjun’s body to sit on his thighs. He ran his thin fingers up Renjun’s sides, making Renjun shiver. “Let me make you feel good, kitten. Will you let me?” Renjun let out a light breath and nodded. He smiled to himself. ‘He asked for my permission, he is good.’

Jaemin pulled Renjun’s shirt over his head taking a moment to admire his bare figure. “You’re gorgeous.” His fingers glided up the pale expanse of skin, traveling to pinch at his nipples. Renjun choked out a sigh and Jaemin smirked. 

He got up on his knees so he could pull Renjun’s sleep pants down. Renjun tensed up and Jaemin soothed him by rubbing his thigh tenderly. He palmed at Renjun’s dick through his boxers making him writhe and whine underneath him. Jaemin stopped what he was doing and pulled out his phone.

He held it up over Renjun’s body, staring intently at the screen as if he were taking a photo and he moved to pull down Renjun’s boxers. Renjun pushed his hands away and backed away from him. “I just remembered… My manager wanted me to come in early today and I need to get ready.”

Jaemin pouted at him and stood up to stretch. “Fine, but if you wanna resume when you get home, call me.” He punctuated his offer with a wink making Renjun smile and shake his head. Jaemin leaned over the bed to give him a long kiss before skipping out of the room. Renjun sat in the silence for a few moments waiting for the noise of the apartment door slamming. 

Once it did, he got out of bed and got ready for work. Meanwhile, Jeno was washing a massive mastiff with unruly fur. He had been washing the dog for over an hour and Chenle watched him in amusement. “You seem to have something on your mind. Roxy looks pretty clean to me.” Jeno glared at him and rinsed the furry friend one last time before getting a towel to dry her off.

“I don’t pay you to just stand there.” Chenle gave him a triumphant smile as he lifted two soapy bowls from the sink he was standing at. “You are correct, and that’s why I’m washing doggy bowls.” Jeno rolled his eyes, trying to decide how to dry the drenched dog.

“So, whatcha thinking about?” The young purple haired boy asked. Jeno couldn’t keep the smile from his lips. “Just thinking about a guy.” 

Chenle smiled at Jeno’s giddy expression and hooted obnoxiously. Jeno flipped him off and Chenle cried out in protest. The younger stayed silent for some time, but his patience finally snapped. 

“Tell me about your boyfriend, Jhyung!” Jeno scoffed, his smiling face not matching the noise of distaste. “He’s not my boyfriend. Yet.” Chenle giggled loudly, washing the suds off the bowls and setting them on the counter to dry.

“He’s really pretty. But he’s also snarky and acts annoyed at times, which is super endearing. He seems small and sad and lonely? But I want to help him… If that makes sense.” Chenle raised an eyebrow. “So you feel bad for him?”   
Jeno shrugged, resorting to getting a hairdryer for the big pup. “I mean, in a way, yeah. But I also really like talking to him and hanging out. I think I’m gonna ask him out, I just don’t know how.”

This excited Chenle. “Oh I can totally help you at lunch!” Jeno smiled, proud that he suggested helping during lunch break and not while they were working. “Fine, fine. But none of that yeet or nae nae crap.”

Chenle put a hand on his chest, appalled. “Like you don’t use ‘yeet’ on a regular basis!” They both laughed and continued their work.

At one o’ clock, Renjun logged out of the register computer and left his station for the break room. He packed his lunch everyday to save money and it helped him eat cleaner anyways. He pulled his bento from the fridge and sat by himself at the small table in the center of the room. 

He checked his phone and was pleasantly surprised to be met with a notification from Jeno. 

‘I know this is kind of fast but would you wanna go out with me maybe?’ Renjun felt warm and bubbly and he trembled with excitement. He quickly texted back a response. 

‘I’d love that, actually! When were you thinking?’ 

Across town, Jeno fist pumped and Chenle cheered. 

‘Are you free friday night?’

Renjun couldn’t believe it, he hadn’t been excited to go on a date in a long time. ‘Friday sounds great. Can I set it up? I have something in mind hehe’

Chenle laughed, “He said hehe? God, he sounds perfect for you. Jeno’s smile widened. ‘Okay just text me the address. Can’t wait!’

Renjun threw his head back. Maybe something in his life would go right for once. After his shift ended he called Jaemin while he walked home. “Oh, hi Renjunnie!” Renjun bit his lip excitedly, “Nana! Guess who just asked me out!” Jaemin hummed, “Who? Was it me?” Renjun snorted and Jaemin frowned on the other end of the line.

“No, it was Jeno. I’m so happy, Jaemin. Let’s go out and celebrate with dinner tonight. I’ll pay.” Jaemin’s grip on his phone tightened and he feigned a happy tone. “Oh okay! I’ll come over in an hour then.” 

He hung up and threw his phone across his room in anger. “Damn it, Jeno.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all are getting a treat today. two updates!! enjoy :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw!! this chapter has mentions of self harm

An hour later and he was knocking on his favorite ex’s door, thinking of a way to keep him away from his roommate. The door swung open and he put on his cute act jumping forward at Renjun to hug him. “Let’s go, I’m starving.” They walked down the street in silence and Jaemin rolled his eyes at the way Renjun happily bobbed next to him.

They got to Renjun’s favorite Chinese restaurant and they sat in a booth. Jaemin pressed himself against the smaller man’s side, Renjun not even noticing. 

Renjun ordered for the both of them and bounced in his seat excitedly. "I wanted to set up a real cute picnic or something. I think Jeno would like that." Jaemin contorted his face into an expression of worry. 

“Renjun.” Renjun whipped his head to look at Jaemin. He never said his name unless he was mad, otherwise he used pet names. He chewed at his lower lip, noticing how serious Jaemin looked. Jaemin continued, now that he had the other’s attention. 

“I think I should warn you about Jeno.” Renjun held his breath. “What about him..?” Jaemin looked down at his lap. “I should’ve told you before but I didn’t realize you liked him like that.” 

Renjun put his hand on Jaemin’s thigh, urging him to continue, and Jaemin bit back the smile threatening to show.

“He doesn’t like you like that.” Renjun pulled his hand away to grip his other wrist and dig his nails into the soft skin to somewhat ground himself. Jaemin spoke again. “I heard him talking to some friends about how he wants to fuck you or something. I don’t think he has good intentions, I’m sorry.” Renjun felt tears surfacing in his eyes.

“You know I love you, I’m just saying this so you don't get hurt." Renjun laughed incredulously. "Ah, it's too late for that now. Thank you though." Jaemin nodded, smiling softly and leaning over to kiss the smaller man's jaw. 

Renjun blushed and looked down to pick at his nails and Jaemin smirked to himself. After their food arrived, Renjun scooped heaping amounts onto their plates and Jaemin ordered a round of drinks. 

He held the half full glass in the air and laughed, "Fuck men! Who even needs them?" Renjun giggled, finally getting tipsy after his fifth glass. His cheeks were tinged pink and he laughed at everything Jaemin said. 

"Fuck men! Except Nana, of course." He sent a shy smile to Jaemin before tipping his head back and downing the drink. In the time he was drinking, Jaemin pretended to drink from his cup, making sure no liquid left the glass. He then hurriedly filled it to the brim and handed it to Renjun.

"Here I'll take your empty glass, and you can have my full one!" Renjun nodded along, hearing Jaemin but not fully processing his words. Jaemin soon got him to finish the bottle and they left the building, walking (Renjun stumbled, really) down the street. 

Renjun gazed up at Jaemin in the moonlight and he swooned. He was so handsome, and pretty. He didn't realize he was walking into the taller boy and giggled when Jaemin's arm wrapped around his hip. He stared up at him again and Jaemin looked down at him in amusement. 

"Enjoying the view, are we?" Renjun slowly nodded and turned his gaze to the sidewalk. "Nana." 

"Hm?" 

"I love you. So so much." 

Jaemin ruffled his hair and chuckled lightly. "I love you too, baby." He linked their hands together. "Just promise me one thing." Renjun nodded enthusiastically with a wide smile. "Stay with me forever."

Renjun clung closer to his side. "Forever and ever, Nana."

When they reached Renjun's apartment, Jaemin led him inside, quickly pushing him against the wall. He sucked kisses along his neck, making sure to leave dark marks across his skin. He ground his hips against the older man's, making him whine in pleasure.

"Shit, you're the cutest, you know that, kitten? I wanna bend you over right now and fuck your brains out." Renjun moaned loudly, bucking his hips up against the blonde's. Jaemin kissed him once more, sucking on Renjun's tongue desperately before pulling away. 

Renjun whined again in protest. "Nana, I need you right now." Jaemin bit his lip to stop himself from giving into Renjuns plea and fucking him senseless right there. He backed up towards the door. "I'm sorry, baby boy. I have to get up early for work. But I'll text you when I get home!"

Renjun clenched his fists and pouted, making Jaemin's hard on twitch in his jeans. "No touching yourself until I text you." He stated firmly and Renjun crossed his arms. "Hmph, fine."

Jaemin rushed home, hoping Jeno would still be awake. He sighed when he got home and heard the tv playing his roommate's favorite movie. He noisily set his keys on the counter and walked into their living room, plopping down on the couch. 

Jeno had his laptop on his lap and Jaemin assumed he was doing something work related. He grabbed his phone and texted Renjun. 'okay bb, you can touch now. but i want u to record it and send it to me okay? n send some pictures of your pretty body please. nana wants to see.' Jeno finally noticed his presence and pushed his glasses up. "Hey, where were you? I thought we were having a movie night?" 

Jaemin set his phone on the coffee table and stretched his arms up. "Yeah, but Renjun wanted to get dinner." He noticed the way Jeno perked up at the older boy's name and he suppressed an eyeroll. "Ah, was it fun?" Jaemin stood and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Yup. Renjunnie's so cute, isn't he?" He heard his phone vibrate violently from the living room. He smiled to himself and pretended to dig through their shared fridge. "Ah, Jeno! Could you check that for me? I told several friends I was gonna bring them lunch and I asked what they wanted…"

Jeno picked up the phone and curiously opened it upon seeing Renjun's name. "Oh, was Renjun one of them?" Jaemin yelled, "Yeah!" and Jeno spoke again. "Man I wish you'd make me a lun-" He suddenly went silent and Jaemin grinned slyly.

Jeno's breath caught in his chest. There on Jaemin's phone, was a nude image of Renjun. Though his face was cropped out of the pictures he had sent, he could tell by the small frame that it was him. He scrolled up a bit to find a video sent by the chestnut haired man.

He clicked it, and Renjun's bare body appeared again, this time with his face. He was jacking off, loud, whiny moans leaving his plush lips. 

Jeno couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen and the video ended with Renjun cumming on his stomach. 

"Isn't my baby so pretty when he's needy?" Jeno jumped, he didn't even hear his roommate walking over to stand behind him. Jeno sputtered, "I- didn't mean to, I just- I'm sorry." 

Jaemin smiled warmly and it threw Jeno off. "Ah, accidents happen." Jeno's mind started reeling. Why did Renjun send those pictures to Jaemin and why did Jaemin seem to be so pleased with Jeno seeing it?

Jeno blushed brightly. "So you and Renjun, huh?" Jaemin laughed heartily and shook his head. "Oh no no. We used to date, but he hates the boyfriend label. Lucky me, I still get to fuck him though!" Jeno felt wrong with the way Jaemin was talking about Renjun. 

"What do you mean?" Jaemin sat on the couch clicking his tongue. "He told me that when he dates guys he just does it for the free food and sex. And to lure them in, he sets up a soft picnic for the first date, so that they think he's interested." Jeno frowned and rubbed his hands together anxiously.

"The boy really doesn't want to commit. He looks cute, but he's so cruel. I truly admire that about him." Jeno picked up his laptop and hummed, feigning indifference. Well, maybe if Renjun didn't plan a picnic then there was a chance that he actually liked him? 

He couldn't get the image of Renjun's body splayed and naked, out of his head. 

The next day, Renjun woke up with a throbbing headache. He found himself naked on his couch and he thanked God that Jaemin wasn't there. How embarrassing that would've been. 

He pulled himself off the couch and trudged off to his bathroom. He turned on the water in the tub, letting it fill with warm water. He scrunched his nose at the feeling of dried cum on his tummy and quickly dampened a washcloth to wipe it off. 

He got into the tub and sunk into the water. Hopefully it would help him feel better, more human. He massaged circles into his calves and sighed, remembering what Jaemin had told him about Jeno. But Jeno didn't seem like the guy who would do that…

Then again, at first glance he wouldn't think Jaemin would rape him. 

He gasped quietly. It only hit him now what his ex had really done. He felt tears pool in his eyes and he brought his knees to his chest. 

"Jaemin raped me." He whispered to himself, feeling tears run down his face. What could he even do about it now? Would anyone even believe him? He thought about the previous morning spent with the man, kissing him and even giving him permission to 'make him feel good'. Why did he let himself be so stupid and feed into Jaemin's affections? 

He aggressively scratched and pinched at his wrists, choking out a frustrated sob when he was unable to break the skin. He got out of the bathtub and ran, still wet, to the kitchen to search for a knife. 

He pulled a small paring knife and brought it to his wrist, pushing the blade against the flesh. He couldn't bring himself to pierce the skin though. He threw the knife across the room and slid down to the floor, body trembling with sobs. 

His phone alarm went off, signaling he had thirty minutes until his work shift started. He slowly stood up, feeling very numb and got ready for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Jaemin so trashy in this fic T^T It made me want to write Renmin fluff ahaha, maybe I will?


	5. Authors note

So when I started writing this fic, it was supposed to be based off the song Black Sheep by Metric, just a simple fic about Renjun having a lot of exes and Jeno winning his heart. But then I made Jaemin’s character. I just wanted him to be a small annoying side character, he wasn’t supposed to be Renjun’s abusive ex. But then I went through a rough patch. I saw something my ex had said to me and I thought to myself, ‘What if I wrote this out?’ It seemed like a way to cope with the trauma he had dealt me, in a way.

One thing that he did was constantly talk about rape. I told him that I had been raped before and was uncomfortable with the topic, and yet he still brought it up. So it wasn’t surprising to me that memories of that were brought up when I was thinking of his character. I combined them into one person, Jaemin, and wrote the story from there.

I didn’t write the rape scene to make it something sexy or arousing. I wrote it to show the hopeless feeling of being so helpless and scared. I do not want to romanticize rape or emotional abuse. I felt earlier that I may have done this by turning my trauma into a love story. I made it into a love story because, subconsciously, I wish I had a Jeno to come save me when I was suffering. I wanted to turn my pain into something happy. The truth is, that Renjun’s character is me. 

I want to make it clear that Renjun constantly suffers from what Jaemin does to him. It won’t end once Jaemin is gone, it could take years for him to find peace, or he could never find it at all. It isn’t something that goes away. 

I feel like this is a bit all over the place but I think I got what I had to say out of my system. Rape isn’t a kink, it’s awful! And it makes me a bit sad when people sexualize it.

Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I feel bad that I put an authors note without a chapter so here's another chapter ahaha. 
> 
> TW graphic descriptions of self harm and mentioned suicidal thoughts

Jeno's smile dropped as soon as the customer left the building. His employee, Taeyong, nudged him. "What's the long face for?" Jeno bit his lip and pretended to look over the papers he was holding.

"I'm sure Chenle informed you about Renjun, the guy I like." Taeyong nodded. "Yeah, and you asked him out, right?" 

"Taeyong. I really like him. But he's still sleeping around with his ex. Who is also my roommate." 

“And they were roommates!” Chenle’s loud screech signified that he was eavesdropping and the two older men snorted.Taeyong pursed his lips, humming in thought. "You really like him?"

Jeno sighed. "It's gonna sound really stupid but, there's something about him that makes me feel like he's the one. Like, I want to make him happy." Taeyong smiled softly. "That's really sweet. You should talk to him about it. If he likes you back, he'll change." He quickly cringed at his own words. 

"Well that sounded bad. If he likes you then he may be able to change his ways to make you more comfortable." Jeno furrowed his eyebrows and gripped the papers tighter. "But Jaemin told me he hated relationships and used his exes for free food and… sex." 

Taeyong placed a hand on Jeno's shoulder. "If I liked him as much as you do, I'd at least try. You’re basing your feelings off of something Jaemin told you, not Renjun. Like I said. Talk to him." He turned back to work on the computer. "If things go wrong, it wasn't meant to happen. Better than losing a chance to be with him." 

Jeno nodded, feeling himself grow confident again.

The rest of their days were dull, and they both only thought of each other. 

Renjun went back to ignoring Jaemin and skipped dinner, hiding away in his room to cry.

Jaemin poked Jeno's side from where he sat on the couch. "Jeno, have you talked to Renjunnie at all today?" Jeno raised an eyebrow at him. “No, why?” Jaemin put on his classic exaggerated pout and looked down at his hands. 

“He started ignoring me again. Such a big leap from him being so sweet last night.” Jeno cringed. Whenever he talked about Renjun sexually he felt disturbed by Jaemin’s lack of filter.

Jeno turned down the tv. “Could you tell me about what he was like when you were dating him?” Jaemin bit his lip and his smile faltered. “I guess. Not much to say though.” Jeno stared at him insistently and so he spoke. 

“So we dated maybe a year and a half ago? I thought he was cute and I asked him out. Turns out, he’d only dated one guy before. We had a lot of firsts together. Or, he did anyway. We dated for like, nine months maybe? Until he decided I wasn’t enough and he left to hop on some tall guy’s dick. Slowly all of his friends got tired of him whoring around everywhere and left. I’m the last one. Which is why we’re so close.” 

Jeno frowned. Jaemin used such negative words when talking about Renjun. It seemed like something he would say to joke around if Renjun was here, but this just felt like Jaemin was backstabbing him. Jaemin jumped up from the couch, startling Jeno. 

“Well, speaking of Renjunnie, I'm gonna go check on him, maybe bring him something to eat." Jeno nodded and turned off the tv. "Tell him I said hi." 

"Yup."

Renjun opened his front door to his tall, blonde ex. Great. "Jaemin, what do you want?" Jaemin shrugged and pushed past Renjun into the apartment. "I got bored of Jeno sitting on his ass all day. Have you eaten?" 

Renjun shook his head and followed him to the kitchen. Jaemin dug around the fridge and sighed. "You don't have anything but rice and eggs? Is this how you stay so small?" Renjun frowned, sitting at his small kitchen table.

"I usually have some veggies too, but I'm out at the moment." Jaemin clicked his tongue and pulled the food out. "You can't skip meals, baby. It's not healthy." 

Renjun bit his lip and fidgeted in his seat. "Jaemin?" He spoke quietly, voice dripping with uncertainty. Jaemin looked over his shoulder from where he stood at the stove. "What is it?"

The chestnut haired boy cleared his throat, mustering up his courage. "Let's end this." Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows. "This? What are you talking about?" He didn't turn from the stove. 

"I don't want you to kiss me or call me pet names anymore…" He stared at his hands and Jaemin laughed bitterly. "What do you want me to do then?" 

"I just want to be friends." Jaemin scoffed and turned to glare at Renjun. "You're so fucking stupid." He threw the spatula he was holding to the floor. "The only reason I did any of that shit was because you asked me to! You we're being so fucking annoying." He mocked Renjun with a high pitched voice. 

"Oh Nana, I'm so sad and lonely, please come fuck me- oops I mean cuddle me!" Renjun felt himself tear up. "I didn't mean- I didn't want-" Jaemin crossed his arms. 

"Yeah, I already knew you didn't want me. That's why you broke up with me." Renjun felt guilty as Jaemin started to cry. "God, I hate you. I hate you so damn much, Renjun." He walked up to Renjun, pulling him into a tight hug.

"You lying bitch." The blonde sobbed. "You said you'd never leave me. You promised." Renjun felt helpless and he cried into the younger's chest. 

"I'm sorry, Jaemin." Jaemin pushed him away roughly. "No you're not. If you were, you'd stay." Renjun opened his mouth and made a choked noise of protest. Jaemin reached for something on the counter behind him. He held a large knife, pointing it at Renjun. Renjun backed up, starting to panic. “Oh my God.” Jaemin then turned the blade on himself, holding it dangerously close to his wrist. 

Jaemin shook violently with each sob and Renjun wailed in despair, “Jaemin please!” The tall blonde pushed the blade against his arm and blood dribbled down to drip off his elbow. “I hate you.” He shook his head and swiped the knife against his wrist again, causing Renjun to scream.

“Jaemin, stop, please. I love you, I want you to stay with me and I don’t want you to keep doing that-” His whole body was trembling in terror and Jaemin dropped the knife to the ground with a clatter.

He brought his hand up to grip his mutilated wrist and he beckoned for Renjun to come. Renjun cautiously stood in front of him, before throwing his arms around the tall man’s torso and wailing into his chest. His chest heaved and he stayed there for a few moments before pulling away and making Jaemin sit down. 

He rushed to find a first aid kit and nearly fell over trying to get back to Jaemin. He messily cleaned the gashes and tried his best to wrap the bloody arm while Jaemin smiled down at him tiredly. “I love you. I’ll always love you, you know.” Renjun ignored him, half carrying him down the hall to his bedroom. 

He tucked the younger boy in, feeling numb when he reached a bloody hand up to hold Renjun’s chin to kiss him. He left the room, telling Jaemin he would be back shortly and locked himself in his bathroom. He shakily video called the first person he could think of. 

Jeno.

“Renjun, what’s wrong? Were you crying? What happened- Oh my God, is that blood?” Renjun pressed a single finger against his lips urging the panicked man to keep quiet. He whispered, “Jaemin came over and I told him something that made him upset and he-” He covered his mouth, muffling his crying. “Did he hurt you? Do I need to call the police?” Renjun shook his head furiously.

“No, he cut himself until I gave in.” His voice cracked and he desperately wiped his tears away. “Jeno I’m so scared. I don’t want to be alone with him.” Jeno’s frown deepened. His heart hurt for his friend. “Do you want me to come over?” Renjun shook his head again.

“He might get mad and hurt himself again.” He shifted and moved to lay on his side. “Can you just keep talking to me? Just for tonight.” Jeno agreed and he kept Renjun company until he was sure he was sleeping.

Renjun woke up to his side throbbing in pain. He stood up with a groan and dusted himself off, deciding to check on Jaemin. He walked into his bedroom and felt relief wash over him when he heard the younger man’s quiet snoring.

He climbed into bed and closed his eyes. Hopefully a short nap in bed would help him feel somewhat better.

When he woke up, he felt himself wrapped in a long pair of arms with his face pressed against Jaemin’s chest. His breath wasn’t as heavy and Renjun assumed he was awake.

“I waited for you last night. Why didn’t you come back?” 

Renjun sighed, too tired to move away from him. “Sorry. I was still really… shocked. I didn’t want to keep you up with my crying.” He felt a kiss against the top of his head and he clenched his fists. There really was no escape from Jaemin. He had finally stood up to him. He was finally going to end it and that had all come crashing down on him. 

Is this my life? Will I be stuck with Jaemin forever?

He thought about it, having to live with Jaemin for the rest of his life. His abusive tendencies seemed to have worsened in the past week alone, so what would happen to him with the coming years? He could always kill himself. That wouldn’t give Jaemin the pleasure of torturing him but…

His thoughts fluttered to a smiling black haired boy. What if he didn’t want to die? Even if Jeno only wanted to get in his pants, it would be better than being with Jaemin. Then again, the two lived together.

He wondered how Jeno would react if Renjun had told him all the awful things Jaemin did to him. Would he believe him, the boy he just met? Or his roommate?

He nuzzled into Jaemin’s chest, imagining it was Jeno instead. He had one chance to free himself from Jaemin. He’d be damned if he didn’t take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think Jeno will believe?


	7. Chapter 7

Jaemin begged Renjun to stay home from work and he did, worried the younger might cut himself again were he to say no. They cuddled on the couch and Jaemin insistently kissed Renjun at every given chance. Renjun let him, although he didn’t respond to any of the kisses. He was going to see Jeno tonight. He was going to tell him everything. 

At six-thirty, Renjun’s alarm went off. He squirmed out of Jaemin’s grip and told him he had to get ready. He felt bad for Jaemin. The blonde boy went from being outgoing and bright to being sad and small. Renjun couldn’t tell if it was an act or not, but he tried to cheer him up nonetheless. 

“Hey, you said Jeno didn’t even like me. I doubt there’s gonna be a second date.” Jaemin nodded and stared at him with dark eyes as he left. Renjun nearly ran to the park he asked Jeno to meet him at. As he got there, he noticed Jeno’s truck already in the parking lot.

He looked around for Jeno and found him staring out over the pond. “Jeno!.” Jeno turned to see the fluffy haired man waving at him from down the walkway. He looked exhausted. “Hey Renjun, are you okay?” Renjun finally caught up to where he stood and nodded. 

“Yeah, I was going to set up a nice picnic but I ran out of time and-” He smiled shyly. “There’s a cart that’s usually here and they have really good corn dogs.” Jeno smiled brightly, and he felt his chest warm. No first date picnic. He offered Renjun his hand and the other man took it. They walked together silently down the sidewalk.

“Oh, these are really good!” Jeno spoke with food in his mouth, bits of breading flying from his mouth. Renjun tilted his head and gave him a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Lee Jeno.” Jeno blushed, pleased with the way his full name fell from Renjun’s lips. They threw away their trash and Renjun led Jeno up a dirt pathway.

“Are we going the right way?” He questioned. “Pfft, why are you always doubting me?” They came to a small gazebo hiding away in the trees and Jeno looked around in amazement. “I’ve been here a couple of times before but I haven’t seen this part yet…” 

Renjun nodded, sitting down on a bench inside. “I used to come here a lot when I was younger, but..” His voice quieted. “I guess I don’t leave the house that much anymore.” Jeno came to sit next to him.

“Jeno, I want to tell you something kind of personal.” Jeno turned to look at him, their noses nearly bumping from their closeness. Renjuns round eyes were full of fear and insecurity. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me. If you don't, that's okay, I just have to tell someone before it’s too late.” His eyes were suddenly very glassy and Jeno could see the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

“Go ahead.” Jeno rubbed Renjun’s arm comfortingly. The shorter man swallowed and opened his mouth. “I’ve been being abused. I guess it’s been a little over a year since it started? But the person, they had a bad influence on me. I basically abandoned all of my friends for them. And now, it’s the worst it’s ever been.” He paused and tears ran down his cheeks.

Jeno felt his stomach drop at the newfound information. Renjun continued, “He raped me, Jeno.” His body shook with every sob and Jeno’s mouth felt dry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump this on you. I don’t have anyone else and I just wanted to tell someone.” He stared out at the surrounding scenery and Jeno put a hand on his arm.

“I want to help you, Renjun. Will you let me?” Renjun looked down at his hand then back to him, a surprised look crossing his face. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his sweater and nodded. 

“Yeah. Thank you.” His voice cracked and Jeno desperately wanted to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay, but he knew it would make him uncomfortable.

“Renjun?” 

Renjun looked up at him curiously. “Hm?” Jeno fidgeted with his hands, “Who is it?” 

Renjun sucked in a breath, hoping Jeno wouldn’t laugh at him. “It’s… It’s Jaemin.” Jeno nodded. It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. From how uncomfortably Renjun always acted around him and from what happened last night, he knew their relationship couldn’t be healthy.

“Ah, okay. Is Jaemin still at your apartment?” Renjun looked at him in surprise. “You believe me?” Jeno gave him a soft, reassuring smile. “You even said it yourself, you wouldn’t lie to me.” Renjun cried again and Jeno profusely apologized.

The older man leaned against Jeno’s side and Jeno wrapped an arm around him. “I just thought, maybe if I finally stood up to him, he would change and we could just be friends again.” He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “But then he went and hurt himself. I was so scared, Jeno. I still am.”

Jeno nodded solemnly. “He’s been manipulating you for so long now, do you think he’d hurt himself again even if he knew you wouldn’t find out?” 

Renjun shook his head rapidly. “I really don’t know. I just don’t want him to do it again.” Jeno rubbed his back. “I’ll think of a plan, don’t worry, Renjun. Let’s just go home.”

The fact that Jaemin was staying at Renjun’s place made everything more complicated and Jeno resulted to staying the night to make sure nothing bad happened. Jaemin was unhappily perplexed, especially when Renjun ‘accidentally fell asleep’ with Jeno in the guest bedroom.

Renjun would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to wake up next to Jeno the next morning. They (Jeno) decided it would be best to not snuggle in bed, Jeno didn’t want to make the older uncomfortable and Renjun didn’t want Jaemin to get mad.

Renjun made fried rice for breakfast and the three of them ate in awkward silence. Jeno cleared his throat and turned to Renjun. “Do you work today?” The man in question shook his head softly and Jeno sent him an eye smile. 

“Ah, you should come with me to work! Maybe playing with puppies might help you feel better.” Renjun smiled and Jaemin glanced at Renjun suspiciously. “Are you unwell?” Renjun avoided his gaze and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Eventually.” He looked to Jeno. “I’d love to go see the dogs. Maybe I can help too.”

Jeno grinned. “I’ll pay you by buying dinner. You should bring extra clothes though, in case you get dirty.” Renjun agreed and got up from the table. He quickly disappeared into his room and Jeno hissed under his breath, “Listen up Jaemin, I know what you did to Renjun.” Jaemin looked at the black haired man with wide eyes.

“I can’t believe you, how could you do that to him? To anyone?” He continued when Jaemin didn’t respond. “You’re fucking digusting. You need to get help and stay away from Renjun. I don’t want to share the apartment anymore.” 

Jaemin scoffed at him. “What if I don’t want to?” Jeno clenched his fists. “Renjun doesn’t want to but if it’s necessary, he will press charges. Then everyone will know what a piece of shit you really are.” 

Jaemin looked away, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t have anywhere to go.” Jeno crossed his arms. “You can’t guilt trip me.” Jaemin nodded to himself. “I guess I can stay here with Renjunnie then.” Jeno laughed incredulously. “Renjun’s moving.” Jaemin’s face fell. “What? Where?” 

Jeno stood up and Renjun stepped out of his room with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He walked to the front door and slipped his sneakers on, not bothering to look up at Jaemin. Jeno walked over to him and took his bag. “Is this all?” Renjun nodded and straightened out his t-shirt. “Yeah, for now.” 

Jeno gave him his truck keys, staying behind to warn Jaemin. “I’m serious, Jaemin. You better get your shit out by tomorrow.” Jaemin threw his hands up in surrender and stormed outside. Jeno followed him and locked the door behind them. Renjun was already in the truck and Jaemin walked down the sidewalk towards the bus stop, anger radiating off of his body.

Jeno got in the car and turned on the engine. “How’re you feeling?” Renjun fiddled with his fingers in his lap. “It’s weird. We’ve known each other for so long and now…” He trailed off and looked out the window. “I want to be happy, but I’m not.” Jeno frowned and tentatively placed an arm on Renjun’s shoulder. “It’ll take time to heal, but you’ll get there.”

They pulled up in front of a small white building with a cartoon dog on the sign. They both got out of the car and Renjun left his bag inside. “You said you started this place up yourself?” Jeno smiled proudly and opened the door for Renjun. 

“Yup. I wanted to be a vet when I was younger, as most kids do, but I got older and I figured this would make me happier in the long run.”

A bright purple head of hair popped up from behind the front desk.”Good morning, Jeno!” His gaze lingered on the unfamiliar man in the lobby and he looked to Jeno for an explanation.

Jeno mouthed ‘Renjun’ and Chenle gasped in excitement. “Oh Renjun! It’s nice to meet you! You’re even cuter than how Jeno described.” He dashed around the desk to cheerfully inspect the newcomer.

Jeno facepalmed and he felt embarrassed when Renjun smiled shyly at him. “I’m Chenle, Jeno’s second in command.” Jeno snorted, “I believe that title would go to Taeyong.” 

“What? But he’s part time and I’m full time, I’m offended!” Renjun watched the two bicker and he suddenly felt a sense of longing for the playful friendship they had. He zoned out and soon Jeno was lightly shaking him out of his thoughts.

“You seem kinda spacey, want some water? We have a keurig too, if you want tea or coffee.” Chenle fluttered around him, seemingly worried. Jeno sent him a warning glance. “He’s been through a lot this past week, don’t get too excited.” Chenle pouted, “I was just asking if he wanted something to drink.”

Renjun piped up, “Some tea would be nice, thank you.” Chenle beckoned Renjun to follow him to the break room and Jeno stayed behind, saying he had to clock in.

Chenle showed Renjun a giant container of tiny tea and coffee packages. “So are you and Jeno dating?” He winked at the older man who laughed and shook his head. “No. We went on an almost date but I’m not sure if I would count it.”

Chenle smiled at him. “You should go on a real date then. Jeno really likes you.” He spoke loudly so Jeno could hear from the other room, “It’s really annoying how much he talks about you!” 

Jeno yelled in frustration, making the two in the break room laugh. Chenle helped Renjun make tea but then disappeared to clean dog kennels. Renjun brought his tea and a cup of coffee to the front desk, handing it to Jeno. 

“Ah, thank you. Do you mind waiting a bit to see the puppies? I just have to update a few things on the website…” He trailed off and Renjun admired his side profile, his typing paused and he pushed his glasses up. “Yeah, that sounds good.” He took a seat and thought about the previous night, and the plans they made.

"You can stay at my friend's house. Or if you're not comfortable with that I can book a hotel room for you?" Jeno chewed at his lower lip in thought. "If I meet your friend I'll probably be okay I guess." Renjun frowned and stared at his lap. "But what if Jaemin can't find somewhere to stay? I don't want him to-" Jeno cut him off with a firm "Hey," 

"Renjun, I know it's hard for you. I'm sure some part of you still cares about him but just think of all the shit he did to you. I want to help you out of this and this seems like the best way to do that so please.. Don't worry about him." Renjun picked at his nails anxiously. He looked up to meet Jeno’s concerned gaze.

“Thank you, Jeno.”

Jeno shook his shoulder gently and Renjun was back at the front desk. “Hey, you okay?” Renjun nodded and rubbed his eyes, “Yeah, I’m sorry. You done?” Jeno gave him a soft smile and rubbed his shoulder reassuringly, “It’s okay, now let’s go meet some doggies!”

Jeno showed him to a room lined with large kennels on each side and introduced him to each dog. He eventually left him to play with the animals and Chenle joined him, brushing the dogs’ fur and giving them treats.

Chenle watched as Renjun rubbed a big dog’s stomach and he smiled to himself. “So, what do you do, Renjun?” He took a seat on the tiled floor next to the other, beginning to join in on the petting.

Renjun shrugged, “I just work at a clothes store. Pretty sure they’re gonna fire me too… He trailed off.” Chenle nodded, “Ah, just trying to get by? What do you want to do, though?” 

Renjun smiled at him then looked to the ceiling in thought. “I suppose. I always wanted to be an artist, but my parents weren’t too happy with that so I never pursued an art career.” Chenle raised an eyebrow, “But they’re okay with you working in retail? How do you make enough money from that?” 

Renjun snorted, “Yeah, it sounds more ridiculous when you put it like that. I basically cut them out of my life and moved to Korea. They withheld all of my college savings from me so I just used whatever I had to come here and get a job.” Chenle gave him a surprised look. “Oh, where are you from?”

“China.” He smiled when the dog happily lapped at his hand. Chenle grinned and nodded. “I figured. Renjun is a Chinese name. If you’re from China then I’m sure you recognized me when you first saw me.” Renjun stared at him, clearly puzzled.

“Um, Zhong Chenle, child prodigy? Natural born singer?” Chenle prodded on and Renjun chuckled, shaking his head. “Sorry, no.” Chenle scoffed indignantly and pulled his phone from his jeans pocket. He clicked on a video from youtube and a video of Chenle, looking about nine, played. Renjun cringed at the high-pitched singing and he looked over to see Chenle grinning proudly.

“Oh I think I did see that.” Renjun entertained him. Chenle smirked, “I knew it! I was pretty good, wasn’t I?” Renjun snickered and shook his head at the younger. “Pft, I remember thinking how annoying you were.” Chenle gasped and shoved him playfully.

“You’re just jealous.” Renjun rubbed his arm and stood up, helping Chenle off the floor. “So, why did you move to Korea then?” Chenle dusted off his jeans and closed the kennel door after they left. “Ah, I don’t know. I guess I just kinda wanted to? So I asked my mom and she said sure.” 

Renjun gaped at him. “You’re joking.” Chenle shook his head, “No? I thought a change of scenery would be nice so..” He trailed off nonchalantly. Renjun couldn’t wrap his head around it. Here he was, barely getting by, and yet Chenle was able to move from China and presumably live comfortably, simply because he wanted to.

“Wow, you must be pretty…” Renjun couldn’t think of a word to replace ‘loaded’ in a more polite way. Chenle gave him an amused, knowing look. "Rich?" Renjun nodded sheepishly and Chenle laughed, “I know. I try not to be too flashy with it. That’s kinda why I work here. It’s nice to feel like a normal kid who doesn’t get everything handed to him.”

“Oh, I see. How old are you?” They left the kennel room and Renjun followed the younger to a room with sinks, a washer and dryer, and cleaning supplies. Chenle pulled dry blankets from the machine and Renjun helped fold. “I’m eighteen, you?” 

“I’m twenty three.” He put the blankets in a pile. “Ah, same as Jeno.” 

At the end of the day, Jeno and Chenle refilled the food bowls and shut down the computers. Renjun tentatively followed them outside and waited for Jeno to lock the door. Jeno nodded to Chenle, “I was thinking you could stay at Chenle’s house while we work out the Jaemin situation. But if that makes you uncomfortable then we can still go with a hotel.”

Renjun glanced at Chenle, he was nice and funny. He felt like he could trust him. He spoke in Chinese, “I’ll stay over.” Jeno and Chenle looked confused, but Chenle suddenly caught on. “Ah okay! My mom’s visiting so I can ask her to make dinner.” He spoke with faux anger and furrowed his eyebrows to look mad.  
“Great! I’d really like that!” Renjun yelled at him. Jeno stepped forward to gently grip his wrist, “Ah, we can just get the hotel.” Renjun and Chenle both turned to him and quickly broke out into bubbly laughter. “I’m just kidding, I’m fine staying with Chenle.”

Jeno huffed. “You guys had me genuinely worried.” Chenle cackled, “Yeah, you should’ve seen your face.” 

Jeno scoffed and pulled his car keys out. “I should go home then and see if Jaemin’s there. Do you mind riding with Chenle?” Renjun held his hands up. “Yeah, go do what you need to do.” Jeno nodded and climbed into the truck to get Renjun’s bag. 

A sleek black car pulled into the small lot and Chenle whistled. “That’s us.” Jeno handed Renjun his bag and hugged him, throwing the older man off guard. “If you need anything, just call me.” He spoke softly. Renjun gave a small noise of acknowledgement and pulled back to look at Jeno. “I know I’ve been saying it a lot, but thank you.” 

Chenle groaned, “Just kiss him already, you pussy!" Jeno sent him a glare then turned back to Renjun, his face flushing brightly. 

"I mean, we can if you want to? Or maybe that'd make you uncomfortable, so you don't have to…" Renjun smiled fondly at his rambling and leaned up to press a soft kiss against Jeno's lips.

After a few seconds he took a step back and slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. "You're really cute, Lee Jeno." Jeno's stomach twisted and Renjun quickly waved goodbye and got into the black car. 

Chenle snickered and saluted the black haired man before joining Renjun in the backseat of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for updating so late, I didn't feel well today. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter. enjoy :)

Renjun felt suddenly shy, having kissed Jeno in front of Chenle. Luckily, the younger noticed and began talking about his family.

When they got there, Renjun was in awe by the size of the home. The driver parked and got out, opening the doors for the young men. Chenle smiled to himself at Renjun’s reaction and grabbed his wrist to lead him into the house.

The inside smelled of familiar spices and reminded him of home. Even though he had bad memories of his teen years living with his parents, he longed for his childhood. Chenle brought him into what he assumed was a guest room. He was taken by surprise at the size of the large bed and he set his bag down nervously.

"I'm gonna go check on my mom and see if she can start cooking now. Just make yourself at home, okay?" Renjun thanked him and sat on the bed, taking out his phone to text Jeno.

He wasn't surprised to see the countless notifications from Jaemin but looked through them anyways. They were mostly 'I love you's and 'I miss you's and he considered leaving the conversation to text Jeno. That was until a selfie of a battered Jaemin appeared on the screen.

'Look what Jeno did. Is this really who you're leaving me for? Fuck you, you ungrateful whore.'   
Jaemin's cheek looked red and swollen and there was a small cut adorning his cheek. 

Renjun panicked and fumbled to call Jeno. "Renjun, are you okay?" His voice sounded muffled and Renjun chewed his lip anxiously.

"I'm fine but Jaemin…" He scratched at his face and continued, "What happened?" He heard Jeno take a deep breath and sigh. He sounded tired. "Jaemin said something about still having your nudes. I didn't want him to do anything bad with them so I took his phone." He stopped and Renjun stayed quiet, silently prodding him on. 

"He didn't like that of course and he threw the first punch. I only hit him in defense. Once I was done, he took the rest of his stuff and left."

"Oh." Renjun jumped when Chenle pushed the door open, giving him a curious but worried look. "Everything alright?" He mouthed, nodding along when Renjun nodded at him.

The younger moved to sit next to Renjun on the bed and rubbed his back to soothe his stressed state. Renjun gave him a smile tinged with guilt and continued with Jeno.

"I hope you aren't hurt. Are you?" He heard Jeno chuckle and pictured his bright smile. He loved his smile. 

"I'm okay. How are you feeling?" Renjun opened his mouth to answer, but his phone was snatched from his grasp by a smiley purple haired boy. “He’s fine! Now stop being gross, I’m hanging up.” Renjun laughed loudly and yelled out a bye loud enough for Jeno to hear. 

Chenle chuckled in a high pitched tone and gave Renjun’s phone back to him. “Man, y’all are whipped. Now c’mon, dinner’s ready.”

They had a quiet, but pleasant dinner with Chenle’s mom and Renjun nearly cried at the taste of the home cooking. He only ate a small portion and Chenle’s mother urged him on.

“Ah, that’s why you’re so thin, here you need more.” She spooned more pork into his bowl and he laughed heartily, comfortably slipping into his mother tongue. 

“It’s too much! I’m okay, honestly.” Chenle nudged his mom, whining at her to stop babying the older. “He’s fine, mom. You can fatten him up some other time.” His mom laughed at him, pinching his cheek fondly.

Renjun helped with dishes and the three talked for some time before Chenle’s mother urged them to go to bed. Renjun fell asleep with a full stomach and a warm heart for what felt like the first time in years.

The next morning he was lightly shaken awake by Chenle. “C’mon, Jun. It’s late.” Renjun groaned and rubbed his eyes as he sat up. “Late?” He asked tiredly. Chenle nodded and spoke quietly. “Mom said I should let you sleep in, since you looked so tired. No offense.”

Renjun chuckled quietly and nodded, slipping out from under the covers. “None taken.” He noticed Chenle’s appearance, in casual clothing and not the work attire he had seen him wear the previous day. “It’s fine though, Jeno doesn’t get off til noon so I figured I’d let you sleep til eleven.”

They talked for a bit until Chenle hurried out of the room, commanding Renjun to get dressed and packed up.

Though he had only met him yesterday, Renjun felt a strong connection with the younger. He was loud and straightforward, but not in a rude way. His mother was a plus. She treated Renjun as if he were family and he felt safe with them.

Chenle and Renjun left shortly afterwards, and Renjun smiled as Chenle’s mom hollered at him from the front door. “Come back soon!” He waved at her and got into the car, already feeling sad about leaving. Chenle took note of his slumped appearance and patted his back. 

“Let’s get boba on the way. We can pick up something for Jeno too.” Renjun nodded and sighed as he looked out the window. Today he would move out of his apartment and start his new life as Jeno’s new roommate. 

He’d barely known him for a week, and he was already moving in with him. Was it too soon? He trusted Jeno, though. But what if Jaemin was right about Jeno? He seemed to care about his well being but it could be an act. He remembered how sweet and caring Jaemin used to be to him.

He shuddered violently at the thought and tensed when a hand came to rest on his shoulder. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Chenle’s voice was laced with concern and Renjun felt the sudden urge to cry.

He let himself go, and he felt his tears running down his cheeks. He felt ashamed of being so weak, especially in front of someone younger than him and he sobbed harder, hiding his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was muffled through his hands. He heard the click of a seat belt unbuckling and the noise of Chenle’s jeans scraping against the seat fabric. The younger engulfed him in a tight hug, his warm cheek pressed against Renjun’s shoulder blade while his clammy palm ran up and down his spine.

“You’re safe, Renjun. I’ve got you.” His voice was soft and soothing, helping Renjun relax in his hold.” After a minute, his cries stifled and the only noise in the car was the sound of his heavy breaths and sniffles.

Chenle pulled away from him, still rubbing his back. “Are you feeling better?” Renjun gave a small nod and started laughing, wiping his face. “I only met you yesterday and here I am having a breakdown in front of you.” Chenle snickered and shook his head in amusement. “That’s how it be sometimes.”

The younger didn’t move back to his seat, his side still pressed against the older’s body. Renjun found comfort in the closeness and hoped Chenle could sense how grateful he felt for him. Chenle nudged him with his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it would make you feel better.”

Renjun nodded, taking a deep breath. “Do you know about my situation?” He figured since the younger had agreed to let him stay at his house, he must’ve known some of what was happening with him and Jeno.

Chenle spoke carefully, “I know that you had a bad ex and that you’re trying to get away from him…” Renjun wondered if Jeno told him about some of the details of how Jaemin was ‘Bad’. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Chenle knowing that he had been taken advantage of. 

“Yeah… I’m just kind of scared still. Jeno is really nice and I trust him, but there’s some part of me that feels like he’s going to be like Jaemin, my ex, all over again.” Chenle gave him a sad smile. 

“That makes sense. I can totally see where you’re coming from. But Jeno really isn’t like that, he’s my best friend and he’s always been so kind.” Renjun nodded and Chenle continued, “However, if you ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable with him, you can always come stay with me. My mom is always here and she’ll take care of you. So will I.”

Renjun smiled at him, feeling tears rise in his eyes again. “That means so much to me. Thank you so much.” Chenle whined loudly and pushed him, lightening the mood. “Ah, don’t cry again! You’re going to make me cry, Renjun-ge.”

“Aww, you’re calling me Ge now, how sweet.” Chenle scoffed playfully, “Hey, don’t make me take it back!”

After a boba stop, they finally pulled into the parking lot and Chenle grabbed Renjun’s bag for him, ignoring his whines of protest.   
Jeno walked out of the building waving bye to Taeyong and smiled at the two Chinese men. His smile nearly fell though, when he took in Renjun’s appearance. His eyes looked pink and glassy and his nose was bright red against his pale skin. He didn’t bring it up once he saw him bickering happily with Chenle.

“Hey! How was your night?” He asked cautiously, walking to stand next to Renjun. Renjun smiled up at him, handing him a cup of purple boba tea. “It was really nice, actually! I forgot how much I missed homemade Chinese food. Definitely not the same as the restaurants.”

Jeno smiled at Chenle, silently thanking him for taking care of the older. Chenle nodded and walked to Jeno’s truck. “Now let’s go. I don’t want Renjun to get any ideas about moving in with me.” Renjun scoffed and followed him, climbing into the passenger seat and chiding Chenle in Chinese.

Jeno felt giddy and he got into the car and started it, pulling out of the parking lot and driving in the direction of Renjun’s apartment.

When they arrived, they all got out and Jeno pulled a stack of cardboard boxes from the trunk. Renjun unlocked the front door and mumbled, “There’s not much, so it shouldn’t take too long. None of the furniture is mine so we can leave it.” Jeno and Chenle nodded in understanding.

“Let’s start with the bedrooms.” Jeno suggested and Renjun hummed, leading the others to the back of the apartment. Chenle spoke loudly, “Jeno I got this room, you can help Renjun ge.” He shoved Jeno to Renjun’s room with a wink and disappeared into the guest room.

Jeno smiled shyly at Renjun as he stumbled into the room and Renjun smiled back. “I’ll clean out the closet. You can just shove everything together, it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay.” He agreed and moved to the nightstand, gingerly unplugging the alarm and placing it into a box, contrary to the way Renjun was throwing his belongings into the boxes. Said man turned to Jeno with a smile. “Just toss everything in, it’s fine.” 

Once they were done, they lugged the boxes out to the truck and Chenle sighed loudly. “Renjun, you owe us big time.” Jeno clicked his tongue and smacked the younger man’s shoulder. “Hey, we’re doing this out of the kindness in our hearts!” Chenle rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Yeah, yeah. I was joking anyway.” 

Renjun snickered at them and waved his hand to grab their attention. “Hey, I’m gonna go give the keys to the landlord, okay?” Jeno stepped towards him, “Do you want us to come with?” Renjun smiled sweetly and shook his head. “No, it’ll only take a minute.” 

Jeno’s gaze stayed trained on Renjun until he couldn’t see him anymore. Chenle nudged him with a sly smile. “God, you’re whipped. Is it even a good idea for you guys to live together?” Jeno glared at him, “Maybe I am. Also, what the hell does that mean?”

Chenle giggled, “I mean you’re always gonna be all soft for him and I don’t think the neighbors will appreciate the noise.” Chenle’s implications clicked and Jeno made a face of disgust. 

“It’s not at all like that, I never even-” He paused and spoke softly. “I don’t think that’s something he wants and I respect that.” Chenle raised his eyebrows in surprise, “Really? His whole existence screams ‘Dom me’.” Jeno frowned and looked away. 

“Don’t ever say that again, that sounded really rape-y.” Chenle cringed and nodded. “You’re right, sorry. But why do you think he wouldn’t want to have sex with you?” Jeno was taken aback by Chenle’s bluntness. “Oh my God, are we really talking about this right now?” 

Chenle pouted, “I’m serious, you’re so sweet to him so why not?” Jeno shook his head in disappointment. “It’s not about me. It’s just, he’s been hurt a lot and I don’t think he’s comfortable with sex. Also, sex has nothing to do with someone ‘being sweet’ to someone. That’s like saying someone owes you sex because you bought them dinner. Again, very rape-y.”

“Damn, right again. Teach me your ways, hyung.” Chenle threw his arms around the older man’s torso, hugging him as Jeno tried shaking him off. “Teach you how to not be a shitty person?” 

Chenle chirped, “Yes!” Renjun strode up to them with an amused smile. “Alright, that went very smoothly.” Jeno flashed him a happy grin. “Yay! Now let’s go get you moved in. I can order some lunch for us.” Chenle detached himself from Jeno and cheered. “Food! Let’s go.” 

A few hours later, Renjun had successfully adjusted his belongings in his room and the three sat in the living room to eat and watch movies. Jeno was happy to see how much Renjun enjoyed the apartment, getting excited over the smallest things. He fawned over Jeno’s miniature garden, the fresh fruit on the counter, and the second storey view of the city.

Renjun sat in between Chenle and Jeno, the two men pressed comfortably against him, providing him a warm sense of security. 

He felt a tear of joy slip down his cheek. His new life had just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ending was kinda abrupt but i am currently writing small drabbles about noren's life together!! i'm gonna make a collection to group the stories together :)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a finished series, so i should be able to consistently post chapters :)


End file.
